Posted at 5:01 pm in vent, Weight Loss, Iain
Sometimes…I go back in time and see what I posted on “this day last year.” Well…I didn’t post anything on Aug. 27th but in looking back…I realized just how little I wrote about the pregnancy I was actually having…haha. It’s like…I wrote about someone else’s…where everything was fine…everything was normal…anything that was “wrong” was all in my head…haha. I remember at the time…thinking everything was normal and…”why the hell does anyone do this twice?!” Now, of course, I know better and I honestly think it’s best that I didn’t write exactly what was happening. Wouldn’t be fun to look back on…and wouldn’t have been all that interesting to read at the time. It would read a lot like…”I am in constant excruciating pain…that’s normal when you’re pregnant though, right?…Not being able to move…perfectly normal? Not being able to breath…see straight…mind-numbing headaches…all perfectly normal…right?” (that’s obviously the shortened version) Haha…if that were the case…no one would ever get pregnant again (hey…that’s my decision and I’m sure I wouldn’t be the only intelligent one!…ok…not really my decision but the decision thrust upon me that I have decided to take as my own - yes…there are actually people in my situation who make different decisions…stupid decisions…extremely risky decisions). Anyway…just thought that was funny. Always wrote that I was worried about losing Iain (which I was)…’cause of what happened to my mother…but…never wrote that I was worried because of what was happening to me. Then again…I rarely told the doctors what was up…thinking I was being a wuss (which probably had something to do with the late diagnosis).
Anyway…that’s not actually what I was going to write about right now…just what came out…sorry about that…now for the real post………
Warning…may be slightly girlie and may have too much info…that being said………..
Iain’s birthday is in 6 weeks and 2 days and…there’s pretty much no way…that I am going to make my pre-prego weight by then (odd considering how many pants sizes I’ve dropped and am only 1 size away)…I had a lot to lose though…and I’m doing well…so…I have decided that it’s “understandable”…as long as I don’t give up…which is never going to happen…I have A LOT of motivation to continue with my goal (most of which I’m not going to go into here). Since we’ve moved into our house…all of my pre-prego clothes once again…live with us (instead of in storage where it can be ignored), which makes me very sad because there are very few articles that I fit…and the ones that do definitely don’t fit like they did before. The annoying part is that it’s not because of my mid-section…which is what you’d think…considering I had a baby. Nope…it’s because my stupid chest STILL hasn’t gone down…at all…since I was pregnant. Kind of annoying…everyone I know (quite a few people)…lost theirs shortly after breastfeeding. Ok…it’s been like 9.5 months…I’M STILL WAITING!!! I’ve lost TONS of weight…so…what…is all the weight I haven’t lost being stored there?! Anyway…just annoying. Jim reminded me that if I exercise…that should help. I know…was planning on starting that up again anyway (living with the in-laws kind of killed that one) but now I kind of have a new-found reason. Am hoping that something happens…haha. Not expecting anything but…if nothing else…it’ll get the rest of me in better shape.
Have been exercising for a few days now (not that long…I know) and I’m very happy to say that I can do wayyyy more than I used to be able to do. The first time I started up exercising again after having Iain…I couldn’t do ANYTHING…all my muscles were dead and I couldn’t even step up onto the step thing I have…made me really pissed off. You don’t realize how much you can’t do…till you attempt to do it. Now…though I’m not to what I was before…I’m DEFINITELY doing better…amazing what climbing stairs multiples times a day can do! I’m sure that if I kept up my exercising the last time I started it…I would have made my goal weight (can’t just diet…need exercise too…especially after THAT long of bed rest) but…I have to admit that the last time I started…Iain wasn’t even almost sleeping through the night…I wasn’t getting ANY sleep…and ended up hurting myself more than helping (plus…the fact that I couldn’t do anything…didn’t help at all!). This time…though I’m still exhausted…I’m at least getting sleep and feel much more able to continue (especially with my added motivations).
Another motivation…instead of hiding my hordes of pre-prego clothes in the basement where I can just forget about them…I have decided to bring them upstairs to our bedroom…put them out in the open…I have sooooo many great things to wear…if only I could fit them. It’s kind of annoying…any time we go out with friends I have to wear one of the few shirts I own that fits me (being…stupid plain t-shirts that my chest still fits in) and I get depressed every time to the point that I don’t even feel like going out (this passes when we are actually out but…comes back every time going out comes up again). If only I were one of those girls who wears clothes with their boobs popping out of shirts…I’d be set!…but alas…I’m NOT so…my nice clothes will have to wait a little longer. Anyway…it’s understandable that I haven’t lost the 70 lbs I gained while pregnant (yep…when I came home from the hospital…I was a whopping 70lbs heavier than before I got pregnant…yay for me) but I am going to keep my goal and see what happens…and have a huge party (with nothing but healthy food) whenever I manage to reach my goal!
Now…question for anyone who knows…why do women who have perfectly “useable” sized chests STILL have to get bigger ones when they get pregnant? I’m sure everything could have fit in the size I have…so…why? I know I’m not the only one thinking this…there are women out there much bigger than me…so…why? And…mine got bigger…and weren’t even useable for more than 4 weeks! Insultingness! (I’m sure there’s a logical, scientific reason…but…this is more of less just a vent…haha.) Also…why would women LIKE them getting bigger? Weren’t they supposed to stop doing that a while ago?! All it means is that your clothes don’t fit anymore. Anyway…just something I’ve been wanting to complain about for a while!
Sorry about the “too much info”…I warned you 
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